The First Step to Safety: Creating Your Personal Plan

If you are reading this, please know that you are not alone. Taking the first step towards safety is the most courageous thing you can do. At NYC Domestic Violence Support, our priority is your well-being. A safety plan is a practical, personalized strategy to help you prepare for and react to dangerous situations. It is a tool for empowerment.

Safety While Remaining in the Relationship

If you are not yet ready or able to leave, planning for immediate safety within your living situation is crucial.

  • Identify "Code Words": Agree on a subtle word or phrase with a trusted neighbor, friend, or family member that signals you are in danger and need them to call for help.

  • Identify Safe Zones: Know which rooms in your home have multiple exits, a lockable door, and no weapons present. Avoid kitchens, garages, and areas with many hard objects.

  • Practice De-escalation: Know what to say or do to calm a situation if it starts to escalate.

Safety When Preparing to Leave

This is often the most dangerous time. Preparation helps reduce risk.

  • Emergency Bag: Pack essentials (ID, money, medication, a change of clothes) and hide it somewhere safe, like a friend’s house or a storage unit.

  • Important Documents: Gather and make copies of birth certificates, social security cards, passports, insurance policies, and legal papers (like protection orders).

  • Financial Safety: Open a bank account in your name only, and keep the account details hidden. Start saving small amounts of cash, if possible.

  • Communication: Get a cheap, separate "burner" phone that the abuser does not know about, or use a computer outside the home (like at a library) to communicate.

Safety After Leaving

Once you have left, focus on securing your new location and digital presence.

  • Change Locks and Security Codes: Immediately update the locks on your new residence and change any digital access codes (garage, alarms, etc.).

  • Digital Cleanse: Change all passwords (email, banking, social media) on a safe device, and disable location tracking on your phone and any apps.

  • Inform Schools/Daycare: Provide copies of any custody or protective orders to your children's school or daycare and instruct them on who can and cannot pick up the children.

Remember: You Deserve Safety

Creating a safety plan is a powerful act of self-care. It's a living document—you can update it any time. You do not have to do this alone.

If you are in immediate danger, please use the Quick Exit button at the top of this page or call our 24/7 Call line immediately.

Need to Talk?

  • National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

  • NYC Support Services: [Link to your Support Services Page]


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